Bah Humbug to you too, Vegeta!
by Risu-Rizu
Summary: This is the first story I ever wrote for Fanfiction.net (December 2000). It's written with the Bulma/Vegeta pairing. Here it is again; "reborn", so to speak. Happy Holidays, everyone!


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DISCLAIMER: "Dragonball Z" isn't mine, and I don't own any part of it. Wouldn't it be cool if I did, though? I'd make that show SO funny...I'd make Vegeta wear a thong at ALL TIMES and sing "I know what boys want" every time a button on a little remote control is pushed, and sometimes I'd even make him very sensitive to other people's needs and dreams...but I guess I'll just leave Veggie alone since he's not my character and I don't have the right to alter him like that. Heh... 

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, this is my first fic, and it's written as a Christmas present to a dear friend of mine...Kimm-ah. Kimm-ah has given me so much hope in a world so full of doubt. Kimm-ah...has given me a guiding light when my ship has been headed towards really jagged rocks on one of those harsh, cold, wintry nights out on the ocean like you see in those movies. Kimm-ah...has redefined my perception of the human life and really opened my eyes to the wonder and beauty in everything that mankind has accomplished...and she has made me realize WHAT I can accomplish...in my life... 

[pauses to dab her eyes with a handkerchief] 

Well, anyway, enough of that crap. Heh, heh, this is for you, Kim! 

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Bulma yanked Vegeta's hand towards the department store, rolling her eyes. "Come ON, Princy, you can be SO difficult when there's really no need to be...!" Vegeta muttered at his woman and glared at any passers-by who happened to be staring at the strange couple, shocked that a petite blue-haired woman could be pulling so fiercely on the arm of a rather _mean_-looking man and not get much lip about it. 

"Woman," the Saiya-jin prince snapped under his breath, "people are staring at us. Do you have to make our bond such an eye-sore?" He pulled his hand away from her and tucked it beneath his other arm, crossing them in an arrogant manner. Bulma stood there, staring at him for a moment, a little stunned at his defiance. She placed her hands on her hips and glared. 

"YOU said that you'd come with me to get Christmas presents for Trunks and Bra this year! Are you lying to me AGAIN??" she shrieked. 

Vegeta cringed at the woman's exhibitionism and sighed as loudly as he could as more people started staring. Was his marital life all THAT entertaining to them? (A/N: Apparently so, seeing as the most DBZ romantic fanfics on FF.NET are about this very couple...) 

Bulma stamped her foot and crossed her arms. "I SWEAR, VEGETA, YOU ARE SO STUBBORN!!" 

Vegeta had had enough. "I DON'T SEE WHAT THE POINT OF COMING HERE IS, the brats already have enough crap to play with!!" 

"It's CHRISTMAS, you baka!" Bulma spat back, not caring how many people were watching their little conflict unfold. "You do this EVERY single damned year and you never get anything for your family! THIS IS THE SEASON FOR LOVE, DAMN IT!!!!" she yelled. 

Vegeta spun around and hollered at their audience. "DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE A TRAILER PARK TO GET HOME TO?!?!" 

The people quickly dispersed and left the scene, blushing in embarrassment and fear. Bulma closed her eyes in emotional pain and rubbed her forehead. "I don't know why I brought you to begin with," she whimpered. "You never want to celebrate Christmas and you've always just called it a 'stupid human holiday', so I don't know why I thought this year would be any different...so just...go." 

Vegeta's heart melted...a little. He kept his arms crossed stubbornly. "You're damn right it's just a stupid human holiday..." he said quietly, keeping his cold-hearted attitude prevalent simply to defend his pride. There was no WAY that woman was going to get him to apologize after the scene she had just started...and in a public place!! 

Bulma blinked and turned to advance into the store. He was just being too difficult...there was just no need for her to try anymore. 

Vegeta watched her solemnly until he remembered that she had the car keys. "Onna, how will I get home?? You're just going to leave me here with no car?" he said, astonished. 

Bulma began browsing through a rack of children's clothing. She exhaled. "Vegeta, you can FLY...just get out of here," she muttered. 

Vegeta didn't dare tell her that he just wanted to be in the car because it was warmer than flying home through the snowy night air, but he just scoffed and turned heel to leave the store. "I knew that," he snorted. 

Once he stepped out onto the pavement, he walked a few steps to get away from any other people and took off in the blink of an eye. 

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Vegeta touched down at Capsule Corp. and walked towards the large building with his arms crossed. The snow that had accumulated on the lawn crunched beneath his boots and he looked down at his footprints. He snorted again. His mate and everyone else in the world seemed so entranced by this stupid holiday. Not only was it cold, but it was also pointless. Why put gifts for your family underneath a friggin' tree? That was just _one _of the stupid rituals involved in "Christmas". He just didn't GET it... 

He got to the door and pushed it open with a small thrust of his hand. His mother-in-law was sitting on the couch in the living room and talking in an idiotic tone to his daughter as his son sat on the floor and watched some dumb reindeer story on TV. The small lavender-haired boy looked up and smiled. "Hi, Tousan!" he beamed, looking rather comfy in his little pajamas with feet. 

The blonde woman on the couch also looked up and smiled happily at him. "Vegeta! So good to have you home! Little Trunks and Bra and I were just watching some Christmas specials and drinking egg nog! Don't worry...non-alcoholic for the little ones, of course!" she chirped. 

Vegeta stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking as if he wanted to leave the room in haste but couldn't. His family members were so nice to him. And after that incident with Bulma at the store...how would Trunks and Bulma's mother feel if they knew that he had just snapped at her and left her there by herself? Once these thoughts had registered in his head, he just as quickly shook them out and disregarded them as stupid. "Brat, get into bed and stop watching such shit," he snapped at the boy. Trunks rose to his feet and turned off the TV, walking out of the room with his hands jammed in his pockets. 

"Take your sister with you," Vegeta added. 

Trunks stopped and turned back to his grandmother and lifted his little sister from her arms. "Come on, Bra...daddy says we gotta go to bed..." he grunted, pulling the cooing baby up into his arms and taking her back upstairs to their bedrooms. 

Vegeta watched as his two children left the room, then glanced over at the moronic mother-in-law of his. She smiled sweetly at him. "Did you get any good gifts for Bulma and the children?" she winked. 

Vegeta's blood boiled in his veins. SUCH A STUPID HOLIDAY--!! Now this baka was asking him if he was doing "Christmas-y" stuff...he had just left Bulma to get away from hearing that crap! "No," he answered bluntly and walked to the kitchen. 

The woman arose from her seat and walked after him daintily. "Ooh-! I'll bet Bulma would love some new power tools! You could get her a work bench or maybe a nice dress?" the woman suggested from behind. Vegeta ground his teeth and reached into the refrigerator for the egg nog. 

"Trunks has been asking for this train set..." laughed the woman, not getting the message that Vegeta didn't care or want to talk about it. "He's just so into that power locomotive thing now..." she went on, oblivious to the rising annoyance of her son-in-law. 

Vegeta silently poured himself a glass of the thick, sweet liquid and tried his best to ignore the woman as he walked back to the living room and reached for the remote control as he plunked down onto the couch. His mate's mother just followed him again, still talking in her chipper manner. 

"Bra was asking for a Barbie doll! At her age! Can you imagine? She liked the pink dresses, I think, and I think she's a little upset that Barbie has to have blonde hair instead of blue, but if we bought her the dollie and just dyed the hair blue, she might feel better about it, don't you think?" she rambled on. 

Vegeta switched the TV on and grunted. The woman stood behind the couch, feeling a little uncomfortable at his lack of communication with her. Maybe he and her daughter had had another little fight? She decided that this was a good time to go check on her baking. "Well," she sighed happily, "I'm baking some cookies and things right now, so I'm gonna go check on 'em, okay honey?" 

Vegeta mumbled in reply and was relieved that the woman was finally leaving him the hell alone. He took a large gulp of his nog and twisted his face in disgust. He placed the glass down on the coffee table and began flipping through the channels as he smacked his lips and tried to get rid of that awful taste. 

The TV landed on a special, hosted by a fat woman singing Christmas carols with children. "You know," the fat woman on TV began once the song was ended, "I think that Christmas is really all about the children, don't you?" she asked the viewers. The audience on the TV cooed at the 'adorable' children who were all standing on the stage. Vegeta wrinkled his nose. "The Rosie O'Donnell Christmas Special will be back after these messages," the TV announced. Vegeta grumbled and flipped through the channels again. 

The TV landed on another station, this time, with several poorly-drawn children standing around a toilet. "There he is! There's Mr. Hankey! I told you Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo, really existed!" cried a little boy wearing a green duck hat. His friends all nodded in reply and apologized for not believing him about the fecal wonder that is Mr. Hankey. Vegeta blinked. "HOOOOOWWWDY HO!!!!" cried the little piece of dung wearing a Santa hat. "I hope y'all have all been eatin' yer fiber, because I'm comin' to town and I'm bringin' lots of merry holiday cheer with me!" he yelled in a sing-song voice. That did it for Vegeta. He changed the channel, overwhelmingly disgusted by the crap (no pun intended) that people would put on TV. 

He began flipping through the channels again, sighing as loudly as he could. "Why is this holiday so exulted, and yet SO STUPID??!" he shouted at no one. Just the sheer inanity of the season was making him angrier by the second. He tried one last channel, this time, landing on a movie in black and white. Vegeta raised his eyebrows in surprise. The movie looked pretty old, and humans were so fascinated with big-time special effects these days that it was so rare to see a movie made before 1980 on TV. Vegeta sat forward and watched in interest as the story unfolded before his eyes...a story about an arrogant man who felt like everyone around him was crazy for believing in the spirit of the holidays when there was so much senselessness in the world... 

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The house was dark when Bulma pulled up into the driveway in her capsule car. She wearily climbed out and walked to the trunk to pop it open. When she did so, she groaned at all of the gifts she was going to have to carry inside. There had to be more than twenty bags filled with gifts for her family. She began picking up the bags by their handles and walked laboriously to the door. 

She unlocked it and walked inside only to find that the whole house was darkened, lighted only by the glow of the TV. Sitting on the couch before it was her husband, the proud Saiya-jin prince, Vegeta...with his eyes moistened by his own tears. She dropped a bag in shock and drew in a short breath. 

Vegeta looked up at her and quickly turned the TV down, wiping his eyes in the process. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG, WOMAN--?" he grunted, trying to distract her from his crying. 

Bulma smiled slightly. "Vegeta, were you crying?" she asked incredulously. 

Vegeta glared at her. "Shimatta, I wasn't 'CRYING'; my eyes were starting to glaze over from keeping them open for so long!" he snapped back. 

Bulma smiled more and picked up the bag she had dropped and walked behind the couch, glancing over at the TV in the process. "What are you watching?" she asked gently. 

"Some idiot 'Christmas' movie," Vegeta replied coldly. 

Bulma looked at the screen and laughed lightly. "That's 'It's a Wonderful Life', Vegeta. I used to watch this on TV every Christmas when I was a little girl," she thought aloud. Her features softened as nostalgia took hold of her. "It made me realize what the real spirit of the season was...even when I was down, I could always count on that to make me feel better about the holidays..." 

Vegeta looked up at her and snorted. "You certainly did waste a good two hours of your life as a child, then..." 

Bulma tore her eyes away from the TV to frown at him. "YOU watched it this long..." she retorted. 

Vegeta shrugged and grumbled under his breath. "Nothing else to do...you were gone for so long..." 

Bulma tossed her bags into a chair and huffed. "Well, it's not like you missed me or anything...not after how you acted tonight..." she sighed. 

Vegeta was still staring at the screen. Bulma awaited a sarcastic remark, but got nothing from him. He just sat there, staring at the silent screen. Bulma walked to the kitchen, giving up on him. She walked to a cabinet and pulled out a glass, then began to pour herself some egg nog. 

"I _did _miss you," he said softly. 

Bulma paused and looked up from her pouring. "What?" she asked quietly. 

Vegeta sat in silence for a moment before speaking again. "I said I missed you, woman..." he repeated, a little louder this time. 

Bulma frowned. "What's with the change of heart? Are you horny or something...?" she pushed. 

Vegeta stood up, angered. "NO, I was just trying to tell you that I missed you, THAT'S ALL..." he snapped. He looked down at his feet and growled under his breath. 

Bulma felt bad for making such a rude assumption. She placed the carton of egg nog down and walked to him. She wrapped her arms around him from behind. "I'm sorry..." she exhaled, hugging him tightly, "it's just been a long day." 

To her surprise, Vegeta sighed calmly also. "So...what did you get for the brats...?" he asked slowly. 

Bulma was shocked. He was actually asking about the children--! "I...got Trunks a couple of books and a robot, and I got Bra some clothes and a teddy bear..." Bulma said in astonishment. 

Vegeta didn't move or say anything. Bulma was waiting for his trademark sarcasm to come around and bite her in the ass like it always did, but he just stood there. Suddenly, he pulled away from her and began walking towards the staircase. 

Bulma let her arms fall limply beside her. "Well...so much for that magical moment," she thought, somewhat bitterly. 

Vegeta paused before he walked up and looked at her over his shoulder. "By the way..." he began, "Trunks wants a train set and Bra wants some doll thing..." he mentioned gently. He turned again and walked up the stairs to their bedroom. 

Bulma was left standing alone in the living room, stunned out of her mind. She slowly smiled and put her hands on her hips. "Vegeta..." she chuckled under her breath. Bulma looked behind her and grabbed up her gifts as she began to carry them upstairs to their bedroom. Just then, she glanced at the TV. It was still on. She walked over to it and placed her hand on the dial as she looked down at the screen. The movie had reached its end and a little girl was pointing at a bell on the Christmas tree in her living room. 

"Look, daddy!" she cried happily, "They say that whenever a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!" Bulma smiled and turned the TV off... 

"An angel gets his wings..." she repeated dreamily. Then she walked upstairs to Vegeta, who was waiting in their bedroom. 

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Well, there it was, my first fanfic. I hope ya liked it. Heh... 

Also, I would just like to say that I don't own "The Rosie O'Donnell Show", "South Park", or "It's a Wonderful Life" and I make no money offa those either. But had I put this disclaimer at the BEGINNING of the story, you would have expected it later on, thus, ruining the surprise!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAH!!! Well, thanks for reading! Please review! ((Hope you enjoyed this Kim!))


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